The Pelican Feather

When I was really young, I remember my family went to Australia for a holiday.

I remember there was a pelican on the grass. And the grass had shed pelican feathers in the relative proximity. The pelican just sat there, quietly, in the midst of the crowd of people surrounding it.

And then, all of a sudden, the guide stopped talking to the group, went to a feather and picked up a large, beautiful one. I hadn't said a word, but the guide walked over to me, and I was stunned, when he handed me that feather. Thinking back, my eyes probably glowed when I saw that field of feathers, glowing which no one noticed, not even myself, except for the guide.

I carried that feather all the way back home to Singapore. It took up residence on my bedside table, proudly the centrepiece of all my childish possessions (I was still a kid then, after all). It was as if it beautified my whole surroundings, and even my whole life, just by being there. I even brought it to school, I was so proud of it.

And then, one day, I had to throw it away. We were moving house, and in the new phase of my life I was going to, I knew it wouldn't really fit in. There was no place for a grey feather, once a pristine white a long time ago. Time took its toll, life asked for me to move on.

So I said goodbye to the feather, and parted ways with it ever since. I don't know what else I left behind in my old house, but it was a whole load of 'goodbye' to the old.

I was 17 by the time we moved. I can't recall how long I had that feather with me. Many years at least.

I remember it just as its pristine white self, that moment when I first received it in Australia. It's a good thing it didn't move with me. Or it would have rotted and ruined its own memory.

It's kind of like Life, isn't it. Some things you don't expect, they come into your life or possession, as if someone knew you'd wanted it all along. Then you have the best time with it for the longest time. Before you know it, sometimes, you have to say 'goodbye' to it. Not all things are meant to follow you for your whole life. They come, form a part of your most wonderful memories, then you have to move on, because their purpose in your life has been fulfilled.

The beautiful thing is, you know there's something else even better than the last thing coming, even if you don't realise. Its like how God is our tour guide, and He sees our desires, even if we don't know them ourselves. Sometimes we get something for a time, and then we have to move on. Other times, we'll get things for eternity.

What is one thing that's eternal? God's love for us, that's for sure. Anything else?

Man is always changing, as all human beings are. Material possessions fade away. Money doesn't follow you when you die.

I'm glad I have found, or was found by, that one eternal thing. So for all the temporal beauty in my life, when I have to say 'goodbye' to people or possessions, till I find something more enduring, it makes pains in life more bearable.

I've walked in that field of feathers in my thoughts now, imagining what it'd be like, every time God hands me a feather. Something that I never noticed, but always wanted. Some small feathers, some big ones.

I look forward, and am still waiting, for the time when God hands me the pelican.

Blessed

First things first, my dad is doing ok now, pretty much moving around as usual, so hope it'll keep improving or at least maintain. Thank God.

Besides SOT, I've been working as a telemarketeer in NGO for a few weeks now. I feel really blessed by my colleagues, whom even though they only knew me for a while, yet they are really encouraging and kind to me. Some of them are past SOT graduates who understand what it's like for me now. And there are also other current SOT students working hard in the office in various responsibilities. Been really blessed by God here too.

How important the environment and people are to a person's sense of well-being.

There Must be something MORE..

In the meantime of figuring it out, I'm working hard and holding on. May is drawing nearer, and then certain matters have to be settled. God brought me to it, He'll bring me through it. So long as I've done to the best of my ability for my part.

SOT week 3 was just ups and downs for me. But it was great to be able to come together for a prayer focus with a few of my teammates on Friday.

An encouraging word really does wonders.

Why

Something from Youtube. First saw it on someone's Facebook.

A 13-year old boy, Logan, who lives on a ranch, makes a phone call to Houston radio station 89.3FM KSBJ. His words are really wisdom beyond his years.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCdZwitrNoY

SOT- Week 2: Sacrifice truly is in continuous tense

This week has been way, way more trying than last week.

The Devil loves to send my family members to hospital. Note plural form.

Aunt is still in ICU since Monday. Then Dad went emergency late last night, now he's at home. I'm skipping out on Mrs Cho's once in a lifetime meeting to stay at home and look after him. He can't leave his bed.

I skipped out on my friend's birthday celebration today.

I passed over a GOLDEN chance to work under a certain top Singaporean director as a production assistant on his latest movie, because I thought I wanted to go for Mrs Cho's meeting. Now, I see it's a good thing I didn't take up that job, because I need to stay home and look after my Dad. But it doesn't hurt any less, that my DREAM JOB just waved bye-bye and went away from me. It's like someone handed me a gift in my hands, and I just dropped it. I'm still in static shock over it.

My leader was disappointed I didn't take it up (as were a few others who I told), but then again, reasons for difficult decisions sometimes don't present themselves until later.

Sacrifice is truly in continuous tense.

As Bobby would say, "GOOD FOR YOU! :D" if you're going through trials and tribulations. There's overcoming to be done here. Breaking through.

When you think you've given it all, sacrificed your every last bit, something always seems to come along and stab you deeper in the flesh, beyond yourself. And even after that, Beyond beyond yourself.

I want to sing
Until I am lost in Your love
Till I'm found in Your presence
Worshipping before Your throne

Moved by Your Spirit
Entering into Your flow
How precious this moment
Lord I want You to know

SOT - First week

SOT has been a blast. From the first day, Orientation was power-packed. We ran around the whole of Singapore, playing Human Monopoly. Our team, Team 21, won third prize. Tee hee hee.

I love my team 21. Most of the team are made up of members from my zone, most of whom I already know. We have some international students with us too, and they're awesome.

So much has happened, I can't quite describe it really. You've really got to be there and EXPERIENCE it for yourself to know what it's all about. That's what SOT is like. Life-changing, utterly wonderful and awesome, yet trying, tiring, straining, struggling like never before. Because when you're trying to do something big, the obstacles are big too.

Powerful it is; imagine 2 hour long praise and worship, with laying of hands, early in the morning before we even get to our lessons.

The struggles..God sees, God knows. I sacrificed a lot, fought hard just to get to go to SOT. I sacrificed, till every ounce of me is truly in His hands. Right now, everyday is still 'one day at a time', because I have no idea of what's going to happen. But I know that tomorrow is going to be a better day always, a good day, and no matter what, if God brought me to it, He'll bring me through it.

You spoke, I follow, and You'll provide. FAITH.

The 'zzz' monster is stalking me everywhere. Got to defeat it!

Visionary

This past week has been really happening, but I've been way too busy to update everyday.

Here's a long overdue picture:


The backstage crew for Easter 2008 (Expo team), with some plus plus plus...haha..

Ok anyway been hanging out with Cherissa, Simon, and Gabriel lately, as well as daily attending SOT a week early to complete my VL lessons.

Here are some pictures from the April Fool's day outing:

Simon is now 'Egg Yoke Boy'. Internal joke.

This is not the only doughnut Gabby ate. Dum dum dum.

Cherissa..who is same age as me, but looks younger. :O

Some of the doughnuts. Others never made it to the picture. Burp.

The fall of the 'egg yoke' leaves Simon emo.

I'm not photogenic so here's the only picture you'll get. Of me finding the meaning of life through the doughnut hole.

Cherissa!!

The future of the nation lies in their hands. Sigh.
I stopped counting how many doughnuts Gabby ate. Or is it how many doughnuts are eating Gabby?

Gabriel plays with his food. Tsk tsk. :DDD


Scandal?? OOOH..April's Fool! Hahaha.


Ok, SOT starts officially TOMORROW! Or rather it's already Monday since it's past midnight. Oops. I need to get up extra early. 2 hour journey to the West. Ahaha.