Blood

I just scratched myself under my leg, and it started bleeding.. The blood wouldn't stop though it's just a tiny scratch..

And then I realised, this is the exact same area that my dad had his leg cut open in order to remove the lump..leaving a BIG scar which looked like a wound from some horror movie..and while the would was healing, it kept bleeding..And my dad wasn't allowed to be discharged till it stopped bleeding..

Having to change the bandages every two hours, and having a tube stuck to the wound, leading to the blood being collected in a plastic bottle, it was a traumatic experience for me to watch, let alone imagine how much pain my dad was in..

And he's a stubborn type, putting the bottle in his hospital gown pocket so he could go make himself coffee, instead of getting the nurses to, cos he wanted to be independent (and maybe personal ego?).

Anyway, that was during the time I was in SOT.

Can't really remember what the exact details of my past year(s) were, I just know every time I had drama production or during SOT period, something kept happening to my family/relatives. Particularly my dad..

Remembered how I would cry backstage when I had some terrible news suddenly being smsed to me.. And how Esther forced me to go home from rehearsal once..

Thank God, He is greater than all the world can throw at me, and protecting my family. The wound is since healed, but dad's leg still hurts when he sits down on it.

Let's cultural mandate. Creativity requires RISK-TAKING!

I'm excited for many reasons!

First all of, because I'm going back to choir! I'll be in soprano. Guess it's gonna be fun, breaking glass *cough*. Haha!

I'm very high watching my friends fulfil the cultural mandate! JIAYOU JIAYOU, let's all jiayou together! Must say congrats to Jim, he is doing well, his performances are improving! Go to his blog to watch his videos! Cultural mandating! Creativity requires Risk!

I'm going to work hard too!!! In my ministries, in my work, in my life!

--

"Innocence is virtue tested." Indeed. It reminds me of my work very much. Throughout this short time, I've been asked to interview people whose values or life choices may greatly differ from mine. I have a choice, to take or turn down assignments. I'm glad I didn't choose assignments merely based on 'what type' of person I'd liked to interview. If I only want to interview "certain" type of people, like "strong Christians" who will quote about God in half the interview, doing things that are related to Church or God only, then I might as well write for a Christian magazine. It's like what Pastor said. How do you relate to the world, if all you speak is "Christian-ese"? Got to be normal! In the world, but not of the world.

--

Today, as usual, Alan Liu says it best. "Today is a very, very weird day."

My cell group went to Sembawang Park to catch crabs, and have a bbq. Unfortunately, half of Singapore also turned up. And we only caught a few miserable ones, unlike Daniel Teh who caught a whole boxful the last time he came with his friends. And then we threw them back into the sea.

In the meantime, I got full on keropok and satay. X_X

Then we went to Chomp Pang to eat (or some of them ate, I was already KO). And throughout the day, Alan Liu was just "Today is a very weird day". Which my cgl agreed. Cgl kept wondering why we're all so hot and tired when it rained and we didn't really do anything.

--

Ok, well, my weird day doesn't end there.. Went home, saw my mother watching the Singapore Hit Awards. So I just watched a bit, since Mayday was performing. Then my mother said something very funny to me.

Mother: "Are they good? Their song isn't nice.."
Me: "Yah..they're very popular.."
Mother: "Really? But their song isn't nice..I thought ENERGY is better?"
Me: "O_O"

Don't ask me man. o.O;

What will I see

Yup, as requested, I'm here to update..

There's nothing much to say about school, except that I have an exam this Saturday..

Last week, I dreamt that I flunked my exam. o.O Which is really weird and freaky. Of course, when you're dreaming, it's hard to be logical and rational about reality. I wasn't exactly very worried about my exam actually, so I have no idea why. -_-

Studying hard cos I want that HIGH DISTINCTION!!!!

--

Good news and bad news..

Good news: My dad's colonoscopy results is CLEAR!

Bad news: The lump that they removed from my dad's leg is a cancerous tumour..so that means there's a chance of recurrence..

Troubled..

--

My article is published in the November issue of TEENS. I interviewed Hossan Leong, and also did a food review with him at Miss Clarity Cafe. Do check it out if you have time. :)

This is a small step towards bigger dreams..

More articles will be out in following issues!

--

"When all the tears have dried" (Sing to the Dawn), written by Dick Lee, sung by Emma Yong:



But if I turn away from what I've started
Then will I always wish that I had tried
By breaking free will I be broken-hearted
What will I see when all the tears have dried

Feel like I'm doing a lot, yet not enough at the same time..ARGH!!!

This shouldn't be the end, but my beginning,
What will I see when all the tears have dried?

Subarashiki Kana, Kono Sekai

My initial thought about what my dad's operation really meant just got changed. The lump that was removed from his leg is probably a cancerous tumour, which means there are chances that cancerous cells may still be prevalent. My dad googled his condition, and he's feeling a little gloomy about the prospects. I think he's pessimistic.

Back to doctor's review in another 6 months..I hope he'll be given a clean bill of health.

--

I'm keeping to my goal to be fitter! Went running yesterday and today. Have to tone away all the flab from eating and eating and eating and..

Want to be back to a more toned self! Come on!! Or no mooncakes for me this year!

--

Troubled....I wish I could be more decisive. The most stressful part is when you kind of make a decision, then you still can change your decision, and you wonder whether you should..so much at stake. Well, life is about risks isn't it, calculating the risks and deciding on your course of action each time. If not, how can you ever grow and overcome if there's no challenges?

I need CLARITY.

In the meantime, I'm feeling somewhat encouraged by Miyavi's 素晴らしきかな、この世界 -WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD-. The video is addictively awesome, and the lyrics are great. Basically it's about how we should lighten up in life.

For your benefit, here's a subbed in English version by someone on youtube (ignore the website link advertised, it doesn't work):




And this is for my self-indulgent benefit. I like to watch the video without the words:



--

When circumstances in life are so depressing as it is already, I've got to keep my spirit up.

New beginnings in September

I was quite busy since last Thursday. My dad went for operation on his leg and has been warded for observation since then, with today making it Day 5 already..:( Really feel very 'xing tong' cos he's so bored and suffering by himself in SGH. I've been trying my best to spend my time as much as possible at the hospital, in between running my needed errands and stuff for Uni admin and such.

Speaking of Uni..they are super ownage can..only email me at 10.30am to tell me my 2pm class today was changed to 9am.."Good Game", SMa..

-_-

Anyway, pray my dad can discharge ASAP!!! Already dragged until so long, its very tiring..physically and emotionally for everyone..

Going for interview for part-time job tomorrow, at AHAVA, intro by Michelle. Just now met up with some of the Team 21 people for dinner, and Jian Wei was super funny. He misheard AHAVA as 'Hati Hamba'..LOL!

Well, so that's about that..New school started, I only have class on Mondays & Thursdays, 9am-12pm, for up till December. New job to find/get/start, probably AHAVA if the hours work out all right. New plans and paths to follow, for at least this short period of time. I already started my 'read more books' goal, currently am very engrossed in my Charles Dickens "Hard Times". :D Cheeeeeem book, but BRILLIANT.

Everything will always work itself out..that's all I know..as long as you keep exercising the faith muscle..which I know mine could always increase more..

I'm going to need to put 'exercise' in my plans somewhere..>.<;;

Housewarming (and the like)

OH HALLELUJAH~

By some miracle, I have just managed to finish my outline for tomorrow's sermon topic (Healing). I haven't rehearsed, will do that tomorrow morning..no choice, for some strange reason, these days as I try to stay up, my eyes turn red and begin to sting. Never happened to me before, even when I had to chiong for productions any time in my life..or even when I chionged overnight until 6am to finish projects last time..hmm..getting old??

--

Last Saturday, when I went for my cousin's housewarming, I realised EVERYONE was there with their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife..except me. It was like having a big target sign on my head. Couldn't 'siam' some of the inevitable.. :/

John (cousin): So any guys you noticed?
Me: Doesn't matter even if I see any guys that I think are not bad..no use.. sg guys are so non-proactive..
John: Then you take the first step lah! We're living in a modern society now! *passionate speech*
Me: -_- Right..

plus

-When taking photos-
John: Haha Rubez, cannot come into the picture..couples only~
Me: -_-ll
John: JUST KIDDING LAH T_T

then

John's gf: Next year your turn to bring~ :D
Me: Wow, can predict my future already ah? Lol..

LOL, just wanted to post that so I can remember how my cousin bullied me. Then I can tell all his kids next time..Muahaha.. ^_~

Sorry, think I'm too high from not enough sleep..always happens..:DD