An early morning msn conversation

An early morning msn conversation..

CANDICE® ❤ °° I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT... °° says:
what time u leaving house
[Rubez] [2/10 down] inspired to step out and step it up says:
8-8.30 bah..if i wanna reach 10..if nt i can tuo
[Rubez] [2/10 down] inspired to step out and step it up says:
wat time u reaching?
CANDICE® ❤ °° I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT... °° says:
10 loh
[Rubez] [3/10 down] inspired to step out and step it up says:
kopi?
CANDICE® ❤ °° I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT... °° says:
yeah
CANDICE® ❤ °° I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT... °° says:
hahaha
CANDICE® ❤ °° I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT... °° says:
kopi
CANDICE® ❤ °° I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT... °° says:
sounds like some uncle always go coffee shop
[Rubez] [3/10 down] inspired to step out and step it up says:
HAHA
[Rubez] [3/10 down] inspired to step out and step it up says:
we are all old

LOL..early in the morning at 7am..I just finished my sermon (prosperity), chionged from 4.30am to 7am. Frankly, don't really feel very good since yesterday. Exhaustion.. Yesterday (tuesday) when I went to work, I was so unfocused, I couldn't even photocopy properly. Quite obvious I was 'gone'. Told my manager I wanted to take leave for the rest of this week..although I need the money but I don't want to KO.

Glad that I went for choir practice, it was great. ^^ Quite fortunate that I have opportunity to know so many nice and awesome people in choir. Wilma and Michelle are amazing amazing amazing. All the things that we need to do for choir showcase, they are just WOW at getting it done. If I could, I'd so 'kope' them over to DM anytime to be backstage crew..keke..join the (literally) dark side..

I just realised seems like a lot of choir people could do well backstage. Very detailed people, sharp and on the ball, yet calm~ Just like..JOYYY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY! <33333 May you be blessed many many much much alot! Haha, you from choir went to moonlight backstage, I'm the other way around, from backstage run to choir..lolz..

YAY I LOVE JOY! <3 Super power woman!

Housewarming (and the like)

OH HALLELUJAH~

By some miracle, I have just managed to finish my outline for tomorrow's sermon topic (Healing). I haven't rehearsed, will do that tomorrow morning..no choice, for some strange reason, these days as I try to stay up, my eyes turn red and begin to sting. Never happened to me before, even when I had to chiong for productions any time in my life..or even when I chionged overnight until 6am to finish projects last time..hmm..getting old??

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Last Saturday, when I went for my cousin's housewarming, I realised EVERYONE was there with their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife..except me. It was like having a big target sign on my head. Couldn't 'siam' some of the inevitable.. :/

John (cousin): So any guys you noticed?
Me: Doesn't matter even if I see any guys that I think are not bad..no use.. sg guys are so non-proactive..
John: Then you take the first step lah! We're living in a modern society now! *passionate speech*
Me: -_- Right..

plus

-When taking photos-
John: Haha Rubez, cannot come into the picture..couples only~
Me: -_-ll
John: JUST KIDDING LAH T_T

then

John's gf: Next year your turn to bring~ :D
Me: Wow, can predict my future already ah? Lol..

LOL, just wanted to post that so I can remember how my cousin bullied me. Then I can tell all his kids next time..Muahaha.. ^_~

Sorry, think I'm too high from not enough sleep..always happens..:DD

Coincidence

Bumped into Clarisse today on the way home, we are two people kind of stuck in the same boat. While the rest of our classmates have gone on to Uni's, army, or full-time jobs, we're both still poking around, wondering what's to become of the future for us.

Seriously, I really don't know what's the next step for me. I totally depend on God's perfect timing and provision now. Where? How? Who? What? When?

This is called FAITH..

The good news is, it ALWAYS turns out alright in the end, even if it has to take a few complicated detours.

Anyway, so much to do, so little time.

--

Work these days is very interesting..by the way, I'm at OrangeTee if anyone was wondering. Not going back to NGO for the meantime, and for all you know might go over to Kexin's company after SOT..haha..

Anyway, last Thursday I was wondering how I could finish my assignment on time. I did some of the photoshop stuff first before I had to go online to do other things, when..the whole company internet system went down! So I couldn't do my work. Finished typing my second assignment while waiting for it to be fixed. XD Then Friday I couldn't login to the system, so manager asked me to just go home earlier..same pay, whee~

Yesterday was a considerably light day, so managed to chiong finish assignment 3 on Tuesday after finishing my office work..muahaha..shhh..

My (office) workload is increasing alot, but at least I'm getting more and more different types of things to do around the office for my two managers and manager's boss..At least got variety, getting a bit boring doing the same thing for past few weeks..

Oh yah, the strangest task I had to do thus far, was to type up into soft copy the detailed explanations of the DISC profile today, for boss' to conduct his training program next week. LOL! It's quite insightful really. Did the DISC test long time before, I know I'm a CD (high C high D), a combination that is..not for the faint-hearted? :D Hahaha. Will post up the DISC profile explanations when I got time, should be sleeping, have to wake up at 4.30am..ooh la la it's almost 2am~

The Stadium Vision

On Friday, after we had finished with lesson 10 on Homiletics, Pastor Tan suddenly asked us to pray. I did, with no idea of what was about to happen to me.

God sent me a vision so strong, it burns in my mind, every single detail. It was a vision so real, I knew that I wasn't just imagining something.

He showed me a stadium, and I was in it. There were many, many tiers in the stadium, and I was at the very top. A soccer field was at the very bottom. At this top tier where I was, in front of me was a man. I couldn't determine what nationality he was, except maybe Indian or Middle Eastern, or even Russian for all you know. He wasn't really talking or directing any specific attention to me, but he was really 'rah rah' and gesturing intensely at the field with punched fists in the air and flailing of arms.

I told God, You can't just show me this, there must be more, I need to know more, more details. By this time I was already crying as I prayed.

Then, I was suddenly transported to the bottom, onto the very centre of the field. I looked up at the stadium, and I could still make out the figure of the man at the top with his actions. There were no spectators or audience, but there were cleaners, and every few rows or so, a single person walked, just like an usher. I had no idea if they were stadium ushers, event ushers, church ushers, or what.

I could see everything so clearly, even the face of the cleaner nearest to me. He wore a bright yellow shirt as his uniform.

Right after receiving that vision, and the prayer time was ended, I immediately turned to Charmaine, my team member, and told her about it. What she said in response blew me away.

"Just now, when we were praying, God gave me a Word. He told me, 'Rubez will be a great woman of God'. I looked over to you, but you were crying."

I was just stunned. It meant this wasn't just some rubbish my mind conjured randomly, but this was the REAL deal. For it to be confirmed by Charmaine is even more amazing, because she is not just any ordinary member, but she is the Pastor of Revival Nation Church. You couldn't get it any better than this.

I have no idea if that man at the top was a devil, angel, pastor, member, or what. I don't know if this was a church event or secular. I have no idea if this is a stadium in Singapore, overseas, or yet to exist. All I know, is that I have this feeling in me, God wants to send me to this stadium to serve, as for what I'll be serving as, I have no clue either.

I have no further impression that God wants to give me, instead He told me that it was enough for now, besides, I had asked Him for answers to other questions He would address first.

Can you feel the mountains tremble? :D

Breathe

Boo, not going to Kuching..but I still got my other mission trips coming up, so let's look forward to that..

That reminds me, my luggage bag is still under stage, yet to be retrieved. It got pushed all the way to the back by the Costume Ministry, I think. :/ Have to go hunt it out before I go on any trip.

Thank God the exams are postponed to next week. Got a little space to breathe.

Finished the assignment for "Good Morning, Holy Spirit" before I met up my cell group for dinner. :) That book made me think a lot. Well got to chiong the third book and studying for exams now..

--

Sometimes, I feel inferior too. But remember:

God loves you. No matter what. Just the way you are.

Life is tough. But I'm still happy..

Like a photo

When I woke up this morning, I had this unbelievably strong urge to check my email. So I did, and I've never been so excited to receive an email in my life! Guess who emailed me yesterday!

TSUCHIYA-SAN!!

Tsuchiya-san was one of my colleagues from Japan Green Clinic, where I was working prior to SOT. His family and wife are back in Japan, and his wife was going to give birth in May.

And congratulations! His wife has given birth to their beautiful baby boy! The picture he sent of his son is SO CUTE.

But what really touched me is what he wrote in his email about his experience visiting his family and new baby boy back in Japan. His english is not very good, but the words he used are really powerful. Especially the part about the last day of his trip.

DIRECT COPY+PASTED:

I was in Japan last day. when I got up they were still sleeping
I was watching them long time.
then I burned their face in my memory. it like a photo

I really felt the outpouring of pure love in the email as I read. Wow.

I can't wait for a chance to go and visit my Japan Green Clinic colleagues, and maybe see Tsuchiya-san's baby boy when his family comes here in September!

--

So many people went on mission trips over the weekend, one of them being my teammate Jingming. He went to Indo with just one other student, a cell group leader! Woah! Two man team!

Seeing all the people going on mission trips and making an impact, being a blessing..I can't wait for my turn too!!

Kuching, Kuching..I hope I'm confirmed for Kuching trip, I'm really itching to go mission trip soon!

The assignment workload in SOT is really heavy (I think I've been mentioning this alot). Got exams this week! I've been trying my best to study today. Tomorrow is busy busy, got the leaders meeting that all the SOT people are supposed to go, and before that, lessons in the morning and work in the afternoon.

--

Anyway, if all goes well, I should be back on track soon on improving my guitar skills again. Procrastinated too much since last time. Sigh. Going to learn from Alan Chen. Thankfully he doesn't live too far from me.

I'm very happy that Yanming is really being committed to coming to church and bible study. She asked me if Attributes sold bibles, so that she can get one next week. :) And she'll be attending bible study really soon, either mass class, or most probably 1-on-1 from Alan or me. Breakthrough for me, to have a chance to teach bible study.

Hmm..many more thoughts on my mind but I'll just focus on the things ahead for this week, leave the rest to God and the answers will come when they come.

Passion

Haven't blogged for a while, its not for lack of things to blog about, more like my life suddenly got flooded with events. X_X

Well, firstly, as a lot of people would have noticed, last Wednesday's Straits Times has my photo on the FRONT page. Not by myself, but with my twin sis and a whole bunch of other twins that are also graduating from SP. I'm immensely surprised that they put this on the cover page, but oh well. :D Cheap thrill in life, ahaha. Can tell people that you've been on the cover of the newspaper. For doing nothing!

Ok ok, jokes aside, I'm really privileged to have this honour. It made me think about how, by something that I just happen to have (being born a twin), God is able to use me to glorify Him. Suddenly it's a great talking point and ice-breaker wherever I go. Like Kexin told her boss when she introduced me today, how I'm 'that girl' who appeared on the cover of the newspaper last week. Er heh heh.

Really, if God can use something as basic and simple as this, what great plans does He have for the talents and gifts He has placed in me? It makes me just in awe to think. :) Exciting, ain't it.

--

I just recovered from two weeks of fever, sore throat and cough. It came during the week I had to go for Mock CG evaluation! So just DO IT! And thankfully I didn't KO and collapse somewhere in a shivering heap, made it through each day and got some good comments.

I just chionged almost 100 pages of the book for assignment. 400+ to go. I got delayed in my reading, having to take care of so many things. Sigh. Just when I'm recovered, my sister falls sick. And my teammates too. Virus, begone!!!!!

--

Recently, there's been alot of thought on my mind about ministry. My cgl got me to share about what keeps me going in the ministry, that breaking point and the defining moments.

Well, in Drama Ministry, it really is a passion. I love God, I love Drama, so marry the two and hey presto! How I even got into DM is another long story. Anyway, that's another story for another day.

When I tell people I'm in Drama Ministry, the first thing they ask me is "What have you acted in?" Then when I tell them I'm in the Backstage crew, they don't know how to react. People usually don't even realise or know that backstage crew exist! It doesn't really bother me, because backstage crew are supposed to be invisible. But sometimes, when you feel so tired serving, negative thoughts might come. Serving so hard in the back, yet no one recognises the hard work, let alone know of your existence. It can be mind-grinding and demoralising at times.

Backstage crew really serve hard; first to reach (always at least one hour before the actors arrive, so we can set up the stage, clean the stage of dangerous objects etc), and last to go home (got to pack up, preset for the next day's show, clean and clear the stage, etc). We dress black from head to toes (a single bit of white or colour, and we have to cover that up with black tape ;) ), got to do a lot of physical hard work, we can't join our cell groups, we can't watch the very performance that we are working so hard to support, and all the glory goes to..

Nah, not the actors. :) To God, always. The difficult times are when I feel so tired, and drained. I miss my cell group, always can't go for cg and can't even see them during services due to rehearsal and shows, can't fellowship either cos I need to help settle the backstage stuff. So what's the defining moment?

When Pastor gives that altar call, and I see all the hundreds, no, thousands, of people that flood the aisles.

When you know that all that sweat, blood, tears, crying out to God for more strength, all the time you spent, all the sleep you lost, all the sacrifices you made..it all comes down to that. The fruit. And I'm always so amazed, how the backstage crew can minister to the people, in our own way, without even being seen! :)

And..contrast that now with what I'm doing: Serving in SOT Choir, and also the main service choir as part of SOT practicuum. ^^ It's totally opposite! From the backstage, where I'm supposed to be invisible and unseen, now I'm thrust to the front stage, where I'm supposed to be vibrant and noticed. Haha! Truthfully, I love it. It's an incredible experience for me. I'll be a bit sad when SOT ends and I won't be in choir anymore. :( Unless..I go and join the main choir ministry? (I think I can hear my DM 'si fu' screaming in protest..bleargh :P) Hehe..I'll leave that to after SOT to decide. Anyway, no production for a while until Christmas, so I'd be rather free ministry-wise. The 'sabbath' period for the DM, before it's the mad power rush again. Whoot.

I'm very blessed to have the best of both worlds. :)

Haha, I must share this too: I had a lot of difficulty deciding which ministry to join last time, because I felt a strong desire in 3 ministries, all of which I really liked. Drama, TV, and Choir. I really prayed really hard about it, for a very long time, and felt so torn inside having to decide on just one. Somehow, I didn't feel compelled to make just one final decision, but it really felt that in some way, I would be able to do all 3. Just had this strong feeling in me, although logically, it'd be impossible. I trusted in God's perfect timing and guidance IMMENSELY. And a chain of crazy incidences later, by strange circumstances, I found myself in Drama Ministry.

And just when I thought Drama Ministry was all I'd be doing, and maybe join TV as a weekly ministry during the DM 'sabbath' period, I found myself an opportunity to serve Choir! I had actually foregone Choir in my mind, with the logical mindset thinking that it'd be impossible with my other plans.

What are the odds?? It's only possible through God's supernatural arrangement! I already know deep in me that the time for me to serve TV will come when it comes, sooner or later. :)

So tired and exhausted at times, but I'm happy. Somehow things will work out..it always does.