a conversation with Althea

I was talking to Althea on msn right after she read my latest post..

But because of who You are. says:
Dear Jesus, i pray that you will send Rubez "someone" for her to watch the sunrise with! Amen!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
LOL, tt's the best prayer ever, hahahaha
But because of who You are. says:
hahaah! anyone in mind?
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
there's no use for the gal, its up to the guys to send applications first so i can accept or reject mah
But because of who You are. says:
thats a good one!
But because of who You are. says:
i think its true
But because of who You are. says:
but somehome, i had a chat with my friends in church and we all conclude that the guys inour church (the majority) are waiting for the girls to approach them!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
wat's wrong wif them?!!!
But because of who You are. says:
i meant somehow!
But because of who You are. says:
haha
But because of who You are. says:
not somehome
But because of who You are. says:
typo
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
i REFUSE to be the first to approach the guys first. wat kind of MAN are u if u can't even do this one little thing to honour a girl?
But because of who You are. says:
haha what i heard from them (my friends) is that the guys fear being rejected by us
But because of who You are. says:
and in church, if u realise, the girls seem more "strong"
But because of who You are. says:
- you get what i mean...
But because of who You are. says:
haha
But because of who You are. says:
but still, like u said, be a MAN!
But because of who You are. says:
haha
But because of who You are. says:
but don't worry, no matter what the circumstances are, God will send that special someone who'll love n honour you to watch sunrise with u, for the rest of yr lives!
But because of who You are. says:
he'll even bring u to diff countries to watch sunrise!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
hahahaha
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
i noe God will
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
juz waiting for the guy who is MAN enough to
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
the simplest thing in the world tt a girl wants, is for the guy to be MAN enough to honour her, which automatically shows her how special she means, isn't it yah..
But because of who You are. says:
absolutely. :)
But because of who You are. says:
hey, just curious! what sort do u like?
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
huh, u have to help me by being more specific, hehe
But because of who You are. says:
hmm like what do u look for in a guy
But because of who You are. says:
in terms of looks, personality, sprituality, character? haha
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
oh btw can i put our convo on my blog? the MAN enough thing, haha
But because of who You are. says:
sure
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
hmm, lets see..looks: taller than me!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
minimum average looking (nt ugly). i dun ask for brad pitt lah..presentable..well groomed, can dress well..
But because of who You are. says:
mm okie! personality??
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
patient..generous..kind..sweet
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
enjoy to juz chill...mature..but noe how to haf fun also
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
very helpful..respectful to leaders AND all ppl's parents!
But because of who You are. says:
haha!
But because of who You are. says:
all ppl'sparents
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
yah. i dun wan someone who only is nice to my parents. muz be respecter of all
But because of who You are. says:
wow
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
honouring all lah
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
like if i see justin's mum, i always greet her, see if i can do anything for her
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
i would like a guy who is like me..cos if he can treat normal fren's parents right, he'll treat mine rigth
But because of who You are. says:
true..
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
well tt's juz my criteria i looking for lah..haha..
But because of who You are. says:
any particular minstry he must be in? haha some girls only want cgls, where as somegirls want those in the same miinistry... hahah
But because of who You are. says:
lol i ask like i'm doing a matchmaking! lol...
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
hahaha
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
no particular ministry i want. but he gotta be a leader or high ranking
But because of who You are. says:
thats like what most girls in chc wants! somehow!
But because of who You are. says:
haha
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
aka i want someone who has ambition n drive in his ministry, or if he's mktplace den in his career
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
some guys are content to juz be members in their cg or ministry..i can't haf tt
But because of who You are. says:
absolutely!!
But because of who You are. says:
haha
But because of who You are. says:
that day with my same grp of friends, one said, since chc is 60% female and 40% male, say if u match all the 40% males, there will be 20% females not attached. our church is 23000, meaning 4600 will not get attached (girls)
hahaha!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
lol
But because of who You are. says:
which turns out to be quite a big number!
But because of who You are. says:
lol
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
there's always new males joining
But because of who You are. says:
but u wldnt want the new males right
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
so the younger ones will haf enuf by tt time
But because of who You are. says:
hahah
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
neverending cycle lah
But because of who You are. says:
lol...
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
who noes, can find chc other countries
But because of who You are. says:
HAHAA..
But because of who You are. says:
india!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
taiwan can also mah
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
ahaha
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
msia
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
or frm affliate church
But because of who You are. says:
hhaha but long distance relationship leh!
But because of who You are. says:
i mean other countries
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
lol anw not for me
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
same country pls
But because of who You are. says:
haha
But because of who You are. says:
1st love language for u is quality time?
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
nope, acts of service, but quality time is 2nd
But because of who You are. says:
no wonder! haha
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
lol, how come?
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
oh yah. u can't do things for me if u'
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
if u're nt here!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
hahaha
But because of who You are. says:
cos he must be around to spend time with u ma!
[Rubez] stay a while n maybe then u'll see, a different side of me. says:
hahaha yha

have you found what you're looking for?

Remember Mr BHB, the swiss roll? Joining in on the big wave of people I know that are getting attached..he just got attached! Good, so now I'm safe from him (for the moment, anyway)! I'll unblock him from msn....eventually. >_> Wait till I get attached first (whenever that happens), so that the next time he talks to me, he'll know he'll get hantam by my (future) boyfriend if he isn't careful...

Disclaimer..I know there's a LOT of people that just got attached, but Mr BHB is nobody any of you all know bah..
You want to know more, you ask me personally, I'll tell you~

--

Everyone is all excited about the rainbow. Yah, its a rare occurence, so I don't blame people for being excited. I like rainbows too.

But it made me think, why are we always looking for the rare and hard to find things in life? Yet, we don't spend some time to appreciate what we do have in our every day?

I'm not looking for rainbows (the hard to find). I just want

someone to watch the sunrise with.

Super Tuesday

Enjoyed today muchly!

Firstly, finally watched Slumdog Millionaire with a bunch of old friends. It's GOOD! Please watch if you haven't! :D I rate it at least 8/10.

Went for choir pract after that..fun night today..haha..

Hmm, there's pract next week eh. Guess I'll just satisfy a simple craving on next Tuesday -- feel like eating ice cream. Maybe a McFlurry. =X Hahaha. I'm a simple to please person really.

I'm glad that drama still thinks of me to ask me to help out for this week..but I can't for this week especially..

ASK and you shall RECEIVE indeed! When you pray, things happen. I prayed for some stuff regarding my work last night, and got what I needed today. Miraculous. o.O Thank You God, I'm very happy!! Though I need to work very hard this week to clear all my schoolwork and work stuff.

God is good. :))

--

Received open invitation from theatre friends to audition or help out in an outside theatre production (ie if any of you are interested, I can pass you the info)..Guess its not a paid one, more like for fun/passion, as most ad hoc theatre productions are..Truthfully, I'm tempted to audition. I have not acted for a very very long time..its something I enjoy doing, but could not do for few years now..However, am wondering, is this an Opportunity or a Distraction from my life's direction?

If I want to try, I need to arrange for an audition next week already..

Just thinking aloud...but your opinions are always welcome.. :) Sometimes we need another person to help us see from another perspective, as even what may be obvious we may not realise it ourselves..

The Necklace

A story that was forwarded to my email:

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

'Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

'A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.'

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, 'Do you love me?'

'Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you.'

'Then give me your pearls.'

'Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite.'

'That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night.' And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, 'Do you love me?'

'Daddy, you know I love you.'

'Then give me your pearls.'

'Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.'

'That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.'

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style.

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
'What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?'

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, 'Here, daddy; this is for you.'

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.

God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.

--

Just felt like reproducing that story on my blog, cos I just literally got it in my inbox.

dialect drama article on citynews

The dialect drama article on city news is up! Go check citynews for it.

Calling - the little add up to prepare you for the bigger

Chasing a dream is always tough.

The difference when you have a Calling, is that you have God's backing.

So sometimes, I also do struggle thinking, am I doing this only because I personally want to? Is this actually in line with what God wants me to do in my life?

It becomes especially hard when you have challenges. You start to think, "God, if its so tough, can this possibly be a 'sign' that I should stop? Did I misunderstand what I'm called to do?"

Some of us will have difficulty figuring out what is the calling God has for us. For those of us who do know, we can fight all the way for it, resting assured on God's promises. But for the rest of us who are still figuring it out, or have some inkling but aren't quite sure yet, there tends to be doubt. So, it really boils down to a few things.

Prayer and constant listening to the Holy Spirit. It's difficult to be guided when you're not making yourself available. When you're close to Him, sometimes you'll just catch those 'gut feelings' or gentle promptings in the spirit of doing certain things..

And when you've got the 'feeling'..its time for determination and discipline. When the going gets tough..you've got to be ready to ride out the storms..the closer you step towards achieving your calling/dream/vision, the more attacks you'll face.

And most of all, its Trust, Faith, and Obedience..you've got the 'feeling' in you, you really really think so, but what's stopping you? Most of the time, its actually just Fear. We are afraid of getting out of our comfort zone, afraid of failure. We're afraid that this 'wasn't what I'm meant to do', and that we'd try it and fail terribly.

Personally, my train of thought is that its better to try, and have a chance of success (and fulfilling what you're supposed to be doing), then to Not Try due to our own fears, and possibly disobeying God..

Alot of times, we can't see how what 'this' thing we're doing will ultimately lead to our destiny. I've long ago learnt that we can never see the bigger picture until we take the steps forward, then a year later, it suddenly dawns on you, all this time God has been training you for a Certain moment.

Now, my choir and drama ministries are so infused together as ONE..who would have thought? :) I wasn't always sure of what would happen, I just knew and felt I wanted to join another ministry then, felt the peace in my heart, and overcame my own fears and hesitation to go for choir audition. Then I unexpectedly can encourage the choir members when they acted Christmas drama, and unexpectedly can use my drama experience to help choir. Likewise, another long story of 'unexpecteds' before joining drama. All of my little Moments have added up and prepared me for greater Moments, and those greater moments will keep building up (like the layer of sand around a pearl) to prepare me for receiving the call to the BIGGER moment..

And for my ultimate career dream..I'm still not able to see where all this is leading to, but truthfully, I wouldn't have joined citynews if not for my prior writing exposure (if I had not been comfortable as a writer prior to it). I don't know where citynews may bring me in future, or my current writing job, but I'm doing it in obedience.

When you can't see what's the ultimate plan, you just take the small steps, do the small little mini plans that are given to you. When you're faithful in the little, then God can trust you with the bigger..

Time to...Hit the road!

The Year of the Ox should be renamed the Year of the Char-grilled, barbequed beef patty...X_X weather sooooo hot..

Anyway..I PASSED MY FINAL THEORY TEST!! Finally. >.<

I'm curious how to use twitter. Can someone explain to me in simple non-tech words how to use?? Need connect to internet ah? But actually, what's the point..Isn't it the same as fb....@_@

Got a sizeable to-do list..ploughing through the mountain of work..

I still want to watch Slumdog Millionaire though...

ADDED: I just added Twitter. Add me? :D I'm still trying to figure it out..

Munchkin kitty!

The cutest kitty ever!



♥!

Er, I'm supposed to be studying or doing something more useful..*coughs*

--

My want list...aka to buy sooner or later this year..next few months or after clearing this arise and build..

-havianas (gold, silver, or black)
-bag from Charles and Keith (or something like it)
-accessories from that 4th floor shop in Heeren (is it called Cactus & Pine, or is that next door??). Eyeing the leopard print lighter necklace, laptop necklace, chunky bracelets..etc.

I forgot what else..

This post totally ran off from its original intention..

Greater is He who's in me

Great is our God and worthy to be praised...

Even though its a storm now, but believe I can get through. Faith!!

Beginning to figure out what I need to do..

And God does answer prayers.

Thank God for the best friends He placed in my life, to advise or encourage me..

Thank You for a good ministry too (meaning all).

Phil 3:14
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

and Phil 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I am looking forward to CONQUERING this 2009 with God leading my way. Many things to come.."greater things have yet to come"..

random bday wishlist

THANK YOU GOD for Your protection, always.

I believe in the power of prayer.

Sometimes, I may not be able to understand what God is doing in my life. Why some things happen, or some things don't happen..

But, in the end, its always cos of His divine plan.

I'll never be able to understand fully, but I'm going to learn to trust Him more..!

Especially when I pray for certain things, and things start to happen, I must be more accepting of it..

Open heart needs open mind. And even bigger open ears to hear HS.

--

Still waiting for the day I can do this.. :(

I wonder if I ask for this as my birthday present from my parents, will they let me..?

Or they might just throw me in the swimming pool..

Yes, I can do it after turning 21 without asking them, but its not very nice..God, tell me how? Want to maintain Your commandment of honouring parents, but at the same time want to go for it..

(pray somemore is the only thing I can do..)

--

I guess I should be coming out with some bday wishlist..

I know everyone is giving into building fund..so I don't really expect presents, if its hard..

I'm (in)famous for asking people to give me socks for the past 5 years (I need it and it helps you save money what....)

People have since -_- at me and refuse to humour me anymore....and I already got enough sock supply..

So, I'm attempting to be more normal this time, since it's 21st bday and all..Here's some stuff I randomly want..

*ahem* RANDOM WISHLIST LOL!

1) Accesories (key words: unique, funky, unusual, bold, cool, big)
This includes things like Watches, hats, bracelets/bangles, chokers, belts, caps, etc..

The more the merrier!

2) Fragrances (key words: floral, sweet, refreshing)
Ok, actually fragrances are very random, but I don't know what else to put in this 'wishlist'..

I like Adidas floral dream..so anything along that line..But..what I really want is Salvatore Ferragamo for Women..but so ex....

I don't mind tester, I can put into my own mini bottle! :D

3) Clothes
Vouchers also can. Haha.

Don't mind jeans, or any clothes you think suits me..you all should know what I like/look good in..includes shoes (all types) and jackets. I'm a jacket/hoodie freak!

4) Bags (key words: durable, classic/easy to match?, practical, pretty)
It's really hard to shop for me, if you look at my list so far...

5) $$$
Hahahaha. Who doesn't want? Anyone want to give love offering? =X

And here's my how-I-wish list...

6) DSi (I don't have a PSP or DS at all. The DSi is the newest version, but yet to reach sg.)
7) Netbook/mini laptop
8) Books, CDs (have a lot that I want..)
9) MP3 player (to replace the one that kena stolen....:( )
10) Blackberry or windows mobile enabled phone
11) CAR!!!
12) Concert tickets (to Jason Mraz, Coldplay..)

..ok, this list is very lame and random. And probably not very helpful. ^^;;

Actually, I just want to be going out with a bunch of good friends on my bday. :) Because that day don't have choir pract right?? Dinner dinner dinner~? Currently have no plans.. >.<;;

My love language is Acts of Service!! Show your care creatively, ok? :D

--

GST offset package, whoots! Gahmen giving me bday present..HAHA....

Happy Valentine's Day

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is indeed true, as are all the other cliches, especially during Valentine's Day.

Anyway, I only successfully went for 4/5 prayer meetings this week..bah..missed by one!

Two months time, I shall get it all~

Been reflecting on some stuff, thinking of my plans for the rest of this year and maybe all the way to early next year..

On the more immediate end, I have to start taking some action..I think and I think (and I think somemore), but I'm not really going anywhere. Have to start moving my feet (and hands) for those things already..A bit frustrating, but no choice. Got to do what you've got to do, when its time to..

Ending = New beginnings..

The CNY dialect drama was a success!! Thanks EVERYONE for your hard work! But my work is not over yet, still need to do Citynews write up for it..

Want to thank everyone who added love units to my love bank, when it was obvious how 'bankrupt' I was..loves to all..

Body ached today (Monday), in the end I had to go to riverwalk for evening PM..but its SO crowded..think I'll be making sure I go to HoG for next few days, see whether its better..

--

I miss the english drama team, but I've already decided since last year, that I don't want to be 'mobilised' until after Easter 2009 at least.. =)

--

School school school school school..........

Please poke me on msn to do my assignments..literally every week I have something due..

=X

--

Am currently attempting to keep awake and go for morning PM straight, then school, then to choir pract..

Will I make it?! Is this crazy? Siao liao..

But I'm not the only one staying up apparently! Haha..at least got someone to chat to so won't be so boring..

It's already 3am now..*goes do stuff and continues post later*

--

Now that one major event has concluded, along with January..what's in store for the rest of the year?

An Ending means New Beginnings..but what kind of new beginnings are coming?

So fast, one and half months is finished!

EEKS I forgot I have to study for my final theory..2nd attempt..-_- its on Feb 20..

--

The person who was staying up too, gave up.. :( (want to put disclaimer first, I did not ask her to stay up, she happened to find me on msn first, and tell me she decided to stay up)

She started giving lots of those excuses to justify herself for not going for morning PM..too tiring to pray early in the morning, don't like having so many people around when praying, so crowded..etc..

What I feel, it's only 'Want' or 'Don't Want' with God.

I thank God though, that she trusts me enough to share some of her personal life with me..being open to me..I'm given a privilege as a friend, when people share with me..

If you're reading my blog, I Love YOU ok gal..I'm praying for you..thank you for giving me access to your life.. :)

Jiayou ok..I believe in you, and God is with you..believe you know but is just feeling a bit confused over what to do now bah..

Anytime I'm here, just to lend you the listening ear you need bah.. :)

--

It reminded me of something..I seriously don't like 'ai mai ai mai' (undecided, fickle, one minute yes another minute no) type of guys. My future husband must be decisive (but not to the point of dominant; got to be considerate to my opinions too of course), and keep to his word. As in, don't everything also 'anything' or 'up to you' or 'I don't know', and definitely don't promise something, but never deliver..

Btw, I DID manage to stay up after all..about 4.30am now..muahaha..=D Call me crazy, but I'm too ONzzzzz for morning PM tomorrow/later, don't know why..I'm not so overly religious ok, I guiltily overslept on Monday morning and went to evening PM, remember..hmm....

I think, I'm so gonna get my coffee when I go to school...^^

limit?

Like she said, I reached my limit..

For the past two months at least, I have been enduring all kinds of nonsense and emotional abuse, from every single area of my life, from various people, ranging from complete strangers to family members.

It just seems to be piling more and more, and my limit, my threshold for this kind of silent suffering, has reached Maximum...

Have not shared much with anybody, maybe a little here and there with various people, but no one has the full picture.

Obviously did not write in this blog, as this is a public blog.

Usually, when I am not happy, I will not blog. I'd rather avoid having people who don't know me well to judge me as 'self-pitying' or such.

I've been feeling so horribly alone for a very long time, but at least I feel a bit better today, when some people still rally round for me..

The worst part is not all the problems, but the feeling of facing them all alone..

Feel better enough (just a little at least) to blog, because I realise there are people who are still willing to love me despite not knowing anything, but they just readily do..contrast that with some other friends, who are a little too eager to 'encourage' or 'counsel' you with the 'usual' words. It's little wonder I stopped talking altogether.

像我这样的
你会不会
来爱我..?

Firstfruits.

Was counting all my hongbao (red packets) in the afternoon, so that I could set aside my tithe for service..it was a little sad, because the total hongbao amount was quite low this year, barely crossed $100..

I had one last hongbao left to open....and I was super shocked to count a total of $50 inside! I've never gotten such a big hongbao for CNY before..was counting it again, and wondering if someone accidentally gave me the wrong hongbao or something..

After recovering from the shock, I was happily clutching the hongbao in my hand, then I heard God speak:

"Remember your firstfruits."

Firstfruits: Giving the BEST part of your harvest to God..

--

Been having dreams past two nights..

Thursday night, dreamnt of a certain few family members...

Last night, dreamnt of a certain few friends....

Just hoping I don't dream of my cell group members or something tonight. I got enough things to wonder about..