Liberty in Christ Jesus

I just woke up about half an hour ago..had another unpleasent dream..

Ok, I'm not that type of stupid toot that goes about panicking that the world is going to end, just cos I have two nights in a row of bad dreams..

But the context of this one, is a bit, hmm..so thought I'd share, in case..

I dreamt I was being tricked 'while using my talent' (I have no idea what, I just know it was cos of this in the dream) and kidnapped, and being held in this room with a lot of other people. Then I saw Leon (DM actor), and Jason Lim (choir, Joyce's bf), who are two of the most talented people I have ever met in my life IMO. And Leon particularly was super angry that while he was 'tricked while using his talent', and apparently it was something like he was engaged to provide song-writing and he wrote a song, but in the process (or after the song was finished) he kena kidnapped.

And the weirdest thing was, the crook was this woman with a really 'false prophet' type of character, kept on proclaiming "God is good" and was "therefore" why she was doing all this kidnapping crap and was so successful at it = God "blessed" her in it.

Then, she was still in the process of tricking people, and there were other people who had finished doing whatever they were asked to do, they were all unknowingly returning to the room..innocently happily coming..

Then we kind of outwitted the woman and escaped, and were telling the crowd of people that were coming back to run away. Then I realised that whole bunch of people coming back, were all SO YOUNG...like secondary school age, or even primary school..I was super shocked..and they were like so clueless and innocent..

Then I woke up after we all managed to break out (so drama lol).

So what's my interpretation? Er, some 'false prophet' is going to trick the innocent youths while they are using their talents, and then..?

Actually, maybe there's no back part in the statement the dream was giving me? So I shall give the back part MYSELF..lol..

Some 'false prophet' is going to trick the innocent youths while they are using their talents, but there is liberty in Christ Jesus.

Ohh yeah, that sounds about right. :P

......do you really expect some coherent interpretation from someone that just woke up..

Either I'm thinking of PK's message last night too much, or I'm playing too much mafia wars and restaurant city that my brain cells are fried, or.....

I want to sleeeeep lah! Only one hour's of sleep, to last me for serving S4 and then GDOP at night..gahhhhh...

Just sudden random thoughts

Just a sudden bunch of thoughts I must write down before I sleep, as they come to me.

As I open my eyes, I suddenly see.

How we're meant to be a blessing or can be a blessing to others, through simple words and actions in our day to day.

It doesn't need to be something BIG, but it can make a BIG impact on others.

So, how else can I impact you today? :)

God, use me!

Mini Emerge 2009

I had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamt that something happened to my face, and my skin was all blotchy and purple, I just looked in the mirror and discovered it was like that.

I was so afraid of looking in the mirror this morning.

Had a hard time getting up, spent 2 hours rolling in my bed, very uncharacteristically did not want to go to service, even was halfway reaching for the phone to sms someone that I didn't want to serve for mini emerge, too tired to go for service etc..

Well I forced myself to go, cos this is obviously not MY thoughts....

Thank God I did, it was a great service! :)

Felt the breathless syndrome again right after Pst said something inspiring like "the youth are going to blahblahblah", like my clothes were too tight or something. Went away after 5 minutes or so I think.

ROAR!!!!!!!!!

Something good must be going to happen to me, lol.

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On (hopefully) unrelated note, my stomach has been acting up recently. From time to time it happens..certain food triggers off bad reactions..weak stomach since long time..

I don't know what to eat anymore that won't make me feel horrible..argh...

Ministry

(This was meant to be posted last night, but my laptop crashed again while I was finishing up the post..)

Thought of the day (random..or not?):

Ministry is a Privilege, not a right.


Sometimes, I myself may feel exasperated by the demands of ministry. It requires you to give a lot of your time, and effort, sometimes not being recognised. Sometimes, you feel like the ministry became so "dependent" on you -- your phone doesn't stop ringing with people finding you for matters, smses about "can you help do this? can you serve for [insert reason here]", and then you start getting a teensy bit annoyed.

Then its vital to do a rain check, and make sure you don't start getting proud. The ministry doesn't revolve around one person, it is always about serving GOD.

If people keep looking for you, you should feel honoured, the same type of honour as if your house had been chosen for the King to stay in.

At the same time, if you still go ahead and receive the King while you keep complaining in your heart "why so troublesome, have to renovate the house, have to hire people to help do this do that, must prepare the best food etc for these few days.."

Then don't do it lah!!!!! If it makes you so unhappy, why still agree to do it? If you turn it down, there WILL be someone else that the ministry can find to take over your turned down job. As humans, we have this really baseless reasoning that "If I don't do it, no one will, so poor old me must be FORCED to do it..for the sake of the ministryyyyyy". Wah lau eh, mai drama can?

There IS a difference between:

a)willingness + ability to do it
b)willingness - ability to do it
c)ability - willingness
d)- ability - willingness

Anyway. The point is, ministry = privilege, also doesn't mean asking you to illogically or ridiculously put in so much time and effort that you neglect your own life (personal, family, fun, spiritual) for the "sake of serving" (category B or C as per above illustration). Like what is often said, "God asked you to give Him your heart, not your brain. So keep your brain and use it!" Use your brain, use your brain!

And for those people who think that ministry is dependent on them so much, nobody is indispensable.

Remember, Ability can be trained, so B can become A. Willingness is up to you, and that is the only thing that stops C from overtaking B and jumping straight to A.

I am not and have never claimed to be the 'perfect example' of a ministry worker. I do sometimes get low, feel unappreciated, or feel tempted to be "elitist" just because you have been long enough in the ministry.

PA's words, I will always remember. "If God asked you to be a toilet cleaner in church for the rest of your life, will you do it?"

The privilege to serve God in the capacity that He wants you to, not what others want you to do, or even your own "self justification" of what you "should" be doing.

Just do it

Sometimes, something may seem more difficult than it actually is. Then when you JUST DO IT and you find out its actually so simple.

So next time, JUST DO IT and stop thinking so much.

(My revelation of the day)

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Ok, this is actually linked to what I just said. *cancels off the seperator* I know myself. I just really have to JUST sit down and DO IT and the wheels of the bus will go round and round. ie My work. Work work workity work. Always very sian to do it, but when I just push all other thoughts of sianess, reluctance, negative etc aside and DO IT, everything just comes so easily after all. Then I wonder what's wrong with me, think so much for nothing.

I wish I could say "I'm a natural worrier", but God didn't make us to be worriers.

Of course, this principle may apply to other aspects, but I won't be discussing at length about that now.

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I decided, but "in due time" I will make the timely announcements. <--open for God's changes

But I feel better after deciding! Its always best to make up your mind, than to hang in the balance.

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By the way, I'm on the next train.

Cut, cut, & throw away

Cut, cut, & throw away..

I'm going to 'dettol' myself with the blood of Christ, and be vaccinated and disinfected, totally immune from unneccessary diseases. Clean and stay clean!

Keeping 'clean' needs you to bathe everyday, to get rid of germs before they become harmful and make you sick..

*cleanses and disinfects*

Yah, that's the daily thing I must do, examine heart and spirit and make sure it's CLEAN.

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Let's choose to be happy.

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Believing that there's MORE for me out there, I'm going to figure out what's the next steps that I need to take, the calling to be clearer, and the discipline in me to be well, more disciplined.

:D <--I wanna stay in this way foreverr, only way is by GOD yeah.

Global Day of Prayer coming up~

God's Chisel

This has been floating around on fb and blogs, not sure if you've seen it yet, but it's really very true.



I am an original masterpiece, and I'm letting God chisel me.

I want to chill

I was at Lunar on Wednesday night, technically to work (attending the Y2J mini-concert). But took the opportunity to chill with my drink, when I got bored. I want to just chill..sit back and not think, to drink and chitchat with friends...but that's not the theme of the day for me this week, I guess..

Then I forgot Wednesday = Ladies night, and right after the Y2J set was done, all the skimpily dressed and shiny sequined bartop pole dancers took over the stage. o.O

I have to say though, that was the most entertaining part of my day. HAHA!

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Been crashing SOT for the past couple of days, for the book of Romans teaching. We learnt the history and context of which Paul wrote the book of Romans, and went indepth verse by verse into chapter one and two so far. (and somemore things Pst talked about which I won't elaborate here)

Obviously, EXCELLENT sessions. :D

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I guess that's just something I have to accept, and 'immune' myself against.

Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence

One of my most favourite songs of all time ever ever ever, if not Most favourite ever ever ever, "Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence" by Sakamoto Ryuichi (IMO one of the best composers in the world):



I also like all the remixes made since, and even Utada Hikaru's version too, hahaha.

Go and listen to Sakamoto Ryuichi's other arrangements, such as the very famous "Say U Love Me". :)

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I'll find my way.

Listening and figuring out what God wants me to do next..

The challenges are just beginning, I guess..

Everything in life lies in 'decisions'. Decisions determine us. 'No decision', is also a decision.

I have one week holiday next week (don't ask why my school is so weird), just right for me to figure out where I'm standing now.

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I got what I asked for?

Fighting battles - Begin!

Had an awesome time serving in performance choir for the weekend. Fun fun, plenty of new experiences! And plenty of hairspray in my hair that I had to wash out..x_X

Would really love to join, but not at this season..in the future I guess? Right now, I have other things to focus on for the moment..

Am currently feeling slightly overwhelmed..mostly cos of school..barely started one week of it, and I'm feeling a little lost..must figure out what I need to do, and do it!

I will figure it out! I know that I really need to fight major battles this week, to catch up in my readings and not to lag behind in my essay deadline (though its one month away). Start early is always good! :)

First time in my life, I actually had to take PINK panadol..was majorly in pain today, nearly couldn't leave my house..super duper pain in expo also, thank God for well-equipped ladies..

This is crazy man..I've never been so 'jialat' that I had to take PINK panadol before..grrrr..

Get thee behind me, devil!!!

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Oh yah, by the way. I got a 'Distinction' for one of my modules. :) Just left with finding out the results for one more module from last trimester..

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I wish I could get more PAY....more PAID assignments, with the PAY coming in to my bank asap..so much 'incoming' but none reached yet..Where's my pay????

I already fulfilled my building fund, so its not really urgent, just for myself to eat/shop/etc..but still..

++

-I Will not be afflicted by my back pain such that I can't wear the gown this weekend for performance choir! ROARRRR
-I will not be affected by any problems such as breathing difficulties when I sleep!!! ROARRRRRR
-I will not be affected by the devil or his ways in any way!!! *Ignites~!!!!!*
-I will conquer my school work as well! I will be super duper amazing in every area of my life!

DIE DEVIL DIEEEEE go away and stop disturbing me. *kicks the enemy back to hell*

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Today's cg message: Visualising and Realising your dreams.

I'm going to run hotter and hotter after my dreams. The desires of my heart. How much you want it, the more you should run after them, do what it takes.

I'll do what it takes.

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I asked God for an answer, He gave me an answer, and now I guess I'm still trying to accept the answer.

breathing difficulties

Last night, I couldn't sleep, and I had breathing difficulties. It was really, really bad. I was really struggling to breathe, and I was half thinking if I'd have to go hospital, very afraid.......oh my goodness...I don't have asthma, so it was really weird...just super scary..

Then, went for cell group just now, MJ out of the blue said he couldn't sleep last night, had a lot of breathing difficulties, like gonna have asthma attack....

Same as me...

hmmm

My health is being very attacked recently. My back pain has suddenly been recurring just this past few days, and its really PAIN..(two years ago injury from cheerleading)

This weekend must be super SHIOK man..

Never judge

Never judge someone, for any reason.

All you see is what remains, the scars of their past, their flaws, their bad side, or what you Think is their bad side.

And maybe you know what they used to be.

You may see the After, you may know the Before, but how often do you know the In Between?

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Intended to go running today, but too lazy..

Laptop keeps crashing..sian..

No comfort food at home..sian x 2..(tempted to go buy my faves..midnight snacking anyone?)

I need new clothes..but not the right time to go buy..

Eeek, I'm beginning to sound like such a couch potato..Noooooooo.....

School reopens next week, which will end this sedentary lifestyle of mine!!

Now I remember one reason for drama ministry..helps me lose weight..=X (but I'm not involved in Mothers' Day production..)

Been thinking about a lot of things this week....

Keeping the dream alive

My laptop keeps overheating, having the blue error screen of death, and I can only switch off the main power via the power plug to restart it. It could be due to any (or a combination) of the following:

1. There is something wrong with my laptop.
2. The weather is so hot that its affecting my laptop too.
3. I am pushing my lappy too much, working too hard/too long hours until lappy protests and KO...

Available solutions:

a) Get it fixed
b) Buy new laptop
c) Stop working so hard

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I am in ♥ with this song, :



'Love Story by Taylor Swift, meets Viva la Vida by Coldplay - Piano Cello'

=)

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Thank you God, I just finished my work..

dreams..

There's still so much more I want to achieve. I'll share my dreams one by one,

hopefully if you're still sticking by me when I'm halfway down the yellow brick road.

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Soprano outing today at Sentosa was great! Had fun with the girls, and Idy's dog.