Tomorrow is Dec!

This week has been quite depressing, so many wakes..if not for Rina Oh's wedding, this could probably be one of the gloomiest weeks I've ever had for a while. Even in the midst of the matrimonial ceremony, I received an sms about another wake..sigh..

Ok ok..shall talk about the more postive things..Rina Oh's wedding was lovely! It was at Chijmes, and she looked absolutely beautiful in her gown. It was really touching, especially when she serenaded her husband!! So romantic..I wanted to cry too, haha..

Right after the ceremony, I went for my exam. It was alright, I don't know if its a good or bad thing that I was the very first person to finish and hand in..^^;

Went down for service/choir after that..and I realised half of sg was at expo, from Sitex to the John Little crowds..alot of people were super stuck in traffic..

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Drama rehearsals have stepped up the heat several notches. We're having rehearsals every night from Tuesday to Friday, and Sunday whole day. Siong..thank God I'm not having classes or having to rush down from any work for Dec..

I'm still wondering where I'll be eventually placed for the crew..hmm...

I think if there's one thing I need to remember, its that God always provides for His people, and everything will work out (eventually) when God is in your life, especially when you're doing the work for God. I've seen how God provides miracles whenever its needed. But you need to always have faith!

I say that this Christmas drama is going to be GREAT! :DD

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Basic theory test on Thursday!

Stress for sale!

Exam tomorrow (Sat). Stressed. Props not confirmed. Stressed. Being high 'C' and everything is 'not sure' state. Triple stressed. Stressss for sale, buy one get one free.

X_X

I have overcome this before, I can do this again..

With God, all things are possible. :)

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5 o' clock and a fire escape symphony,
Spilling out across the road and the square,
And the sky's the same as your own, do you think of me?
Do the parks, and trees, and the leaves, reach you, there?
After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me, calling out,
Again and again.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning.
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him.

And now I walk these streets like a stranger in my home town,
Learn the language, form the words when I speak,
But he changed me, I'm his ghost since he came around,
And now I count the hours and the days in the weeks.

Passion and silence,
Every word, every line, a measure,
It's the science of the soul,
And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know...

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him.

You, with your new born eyes,
Have you ever loved a man like I love him?
Do you hurt but still feel alive, like never before?
Oh, Sophia, Sophia.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him.

learning to breathe.

Here's a slightly happier song cos people complain I make them emo..

Hmm, I guess I'm just a teensy bit emo this season..guess it'll be better soon?

Maybe its got to do with Christmas Day syndrome..yup..

Haiz..=(




Oh, this road is long, this road is wide,
It takes more than luck to last the ride,
It takes strength and it takes courage to survive,
And did someone ever say to you,
"There's nothing bound in thought you cannot do?"
Well, I've seen some things but not all of them came true.

So I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
Don't want to be alone with my thoughts tomorrow,
And I don't want to be afraid, don't want to look away,
I'm learning to breathe,
No I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
I just need a hope and a light to follow,
Like sailors look to stars to find their way home,
I'm learning to breathe on my own.

And I know a man who lost his wife,
This is the way he chooses to describe his life,
He says, "If I think too much, I find there's just a hole,"
But before she went, she left a son,
He says, "Dad, you're not the only one,
Maybe love is just a requiem for the soul..."

So I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
Don't want to be alone with my thoughts tomorrow,
And I don't want to be afraid, don't want to look away,
I'm learning to breathe,
No I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
I just need a hope and a light to follow,
Like sailors look to stars to find their way home,
I'm learning to breathe on my own.

Oh, do you still feel small?
Just a speck of life on an ocean wave,
Does it pull us all?
Does it pull us all?

So I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
Don't want to be alone with my thoughts tomorrow,
And I don't want to be afraid, don't want to look away,
I'm learning to breathe,
No I don't want to be the last, I don't want to be the first,
I just need a hope and a light to follow,
Like sailors look to stars to find their way home,
I'm learning to breathe on my own.

far, far away

Ok, before you all ship me off for counselling, I'm not depressed..I just like this song alot at the moment. Fits to listen to it now especially cos of the rain outside..

Emo warning!



How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Tears and Rain.

Tears and Rain.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain

40mins

I just spent 40mins waiting for my zip folder of photos to upload to YSI so I can send the link to my editor. With 3:22 to go, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED??

Yup. The internet disconnected, and I have to restart.

*sobs*

I still haven't studied for my exam this Sat, of which I have a practice session on Thurs morning. AND I have drama rehearsal tomorrow (Wed) night. And it's past 4.30am. It'll be 5am by the time I'm done uploading (again).

*bangs head on wall*

I wanna sleep. T_T I need to wake up earlier to study, and to prepare drama stuff.

Ah well. Yet another day in my ever happening life~! :D;;

Asia Conference

So I've just completed a 5-day long Asia Conference! Went every day, and almost every session except Thursday morning (school, bah).

Awesomeness abound! Although, during this whole week, I was busy serving in different areas. Choir, Citynews, and Parade of Nations. At least I didn't have to battle unending queues just to get into the halls. Still, serving (in any area) is tough. Lots of unexpected things cropped up, chaos and confusion. Overall, happy that I managed to experience something different every day!

I have one lesser pair of boots now (BH choir, got spoilt in the process..) and a huge gigantic bruise (BH choir also..). But its worth it, muahaha.

There are two things I really learnt during this whole conference.

1. The true meaning of serving: Service is a sacrifice after all. Felt that this was what God was trying to show me during these 5 days, that is, the essence of servanthood. Why do you do the things you do? Do you join so you can benefit yourself, or so you can make something better for others? Serving doesn't always mean you do something, sometimes it means Not doing something for the greater benefit of the whole group.

One of my friends in Parade of Nations got replaced at the very last minute, and he was really unhappy and started saying things like "why are they always so last minute", "why can't they tell me earlier", "waste my time", "I could have gone and serve in my ministry", "I could be in the hall right now instead of here wasting my time". I told him, "Do you think God looks at your heart, or look at your service?" He didn't understand what I was trying to say at the moment.

The next night, I couldn't serve in the choir cos of too many people, so I chose to come down. And on Sunday night, I was the first to get 'eliminated'. Beside that, got a lot of changes during Citynews, sometimes I couldn't get something done cos it got cancelled at the last minute. So I do understand the type of feeling of 'wasted my time' or 'I could have gone and serve in another ministry if I knew'. But I remembered what I just said on Wed night, and obviously I'm not going to have such similar negative thoughts, because if I'm going to be so 'toot', I know I wouldn't even want someone like me serving. That wouldn't be called servanthood anymore. The difference between Serving (doing the action) and Servanthood (the attitude in the heart)..

I am really proud of all the people who worked hard together to make the Asia Conference a success. Through everyone's teamwork, love and concern for one another, and putting service before self, really contributed to the great event.

Choir super rocks! Thanks to all the ICs for all the coordinating, and members who tirelessly came early to put makeup, dress up, etc, even though sometimes they don't get to sing due to too many people. And everyone looks out for each others welfare - that's the core of being servants to one another.

Citynews crew are unbelievable! The editors, writers, and reporters were working round the clock the whole time. They often have to sacrifice going for the sessions or their own electives (I had to give up mine) in order to do writing or reporting. Having to write with one hour time frame immediately after the session/elective/meeting is crazy! Ironman and women, all of them!! And much thanks to the photography ministry and video ministry for lending us people!

Parade of Nations was a 'once in a lifetime' experience I'm glad to have been part of! Everyone did great, and we saw Don Moen cry during the parade..We're going to claim the nations, yes we will!

2. I need more of God in my life. :)))))))

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Asia Conference is over, next is Christmas! Already getting back to work for drama ministry. Besides that, being chased for my work work. Articles deadline, argh, had no time to write due to the hectic past week's schedule.

I am BLESSED with good friends and a greater God.

Z_Z

Quick update before I run out of the house. Slept at 5am, but was woken up throughout the morning by sms from choir (prac cancelled), call from citynews (my 'work' schedule for AC, which I mysteriously don't know anything about since the email never made it to my inbox)..

Z_Z

Headache, but I need to go out and source for some drama props materials now..hope for 'good stuff at good price'~

Be back online after dinner! Definitely will be, I have work to finish. ^^;;

Two days before Asia Conference

This is the busiest time of my year..as I predicted, Nov/Dec is going to be a super crunchtime. I didn't have a clue that I'd be involved in so many things though.

....you know what, I fell asleep while writing this entry. D:

Please pump water in me like a camel..I'm quite dehydrated cos I'm running all over the place getting my work done, until no time to eat/drink..

*goes to sleep*

To be continued when I wake up tomorrow (Tuesday)..

P.S. Happy birthday to Adam! Though by the time this post is written it's already the next day..^^ll

Qns I'm tempted to really ask my interviewees

Being not exactly proficient in mandarin, I asked Jim to help me translate some 'fan ti zi'. I was also wondering what questions to ask my interviewees. Then:

Jim says:
lol
Jim says:
ask them what they think of obama being the new president
Jim says:
:P
[Rubez] says:
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Jim says:
or.. what will u get if you react NaOH with HCl
[Rubez] says:
i will kena hantam by the other reporters
[Rubez] says:
LOL
Jim says:
LOL

Mandarin + Me = Bleargh. X_X

Truthfully, I'm a little fearful of being "eaten up" by the other more experienced reporters from bigger publications.

Creativity = Risk-taking! I must remember that.

Maturity

I can't believe one year has flown by just like that..I'm looking at some random Christmas ornament that my supervisor at GEHA gave me when I was interning last year.

My 2008 has truly been good. God didn't forsake me throughout this whole year. I held on to the promise, that 2008 was "my" year..

I'm overwhelmed by how much I've achieved and been superbly blessed throughout..despite the obstacles, despite many times when I wanted to give up, even up to now I still will struggle with so much responsibilities to fulfil..

One of my members has this in his msn nick: "Maturity does not come from time. Maturity comes from responsibility."

So true..

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Christmas schedule for crew is out! aka I'm activated for Christmas drama. Let's do this! :)

I've got exams coming up..Basic theory test also..wahh..

Be nice to me this Christmas? :D You can contribute to my Pokka Peach Tea supply, or Pink Dolphin, for December. They're my red bull for surviving backstage.

Or, you can forcefeed me. I'm prepared to lose ALOT of weight again..x_X

Or, you can say hi to me backstage! No wait, I'm not sure you want to see my super unglam face..

Got to do something that you've never done before

"If you want something that has never happened before to happen, you've got to do something that you've never done before."

Woah. Totally blown away by that one line by Rev. Ed Silvoso.

Today is the start of a lot of things, to say the least..

Started in Citynews, got asked for involvement for xmas drama, etc etc etc etc........

God, help! Need more sleep! And ability to do my work fast and well!

Expanding.

I'm unexpectedly having so much fun in choir!!

First week: I get asked to write the Citinews article for choir.
Second week (this week): I get to attend an awesomely fun chalet.

Coming up: Asia Conference!

Who knew it'd be this fun? :D All thanks to the wonderful great people inside of course!!

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In order to move forward, does it mean pressing on despite unfavourable circumstances, or does it mean breaking free to find something else that could be better?

Praying for clarity of direction, and trusting God to provide the solution.

Make every minute count

What a week!

Went for choir pract on Tuesday, which was coincidentally Justin's bday. He was sharing why he felt bdays were important. To him, every year that he gets to be alive is really a blessing..

As he was talking about that, I was reminded of myself..By rights, I shouldn't be alive either. My parents were already considerably old, and never expected twins, nor did they want any more kids to add to their already 'perfect golden' family (parents plus one daughter one son). Many many years ago, I didn't know why, but I just asked my mother why she didn't decide to abort us after all.

My family isn't christian. But she was finally convinced by a christian friend that told her "twins are a gift from God" and such.

And that, is why Rubez is still in this world today..


Even at that young age when I asked her that question, I really felt the love of God when she said that. And I wasn't a christian then. It's truly by His grace that I'm alive.

Consequently, I had many different encounters with christians, some good, most bad, which hardened my heart towards Him. But God came through to me in the end..

God, how good are You, that You gave me a chance in this world, because I know You've got a good plan for me..

So now, I want to make every minute count for YOU!

--

I was reminded the whole of last week of one thing..

I'm no picasso. But I love to draw.

I'm no celine dion. But I like to sing.

I'm not a TIMES magazine editor. But I'm good at writing.

I never expected to see myself backstage, but there I am.

I'm not Perfect, I'm not the Best at what I do, but I do my best with whatever talent I've been given, even if I'll never be number one in people's opinion.

Because, in the end, who are you going to answer to?

If you are given one talent, but you use it well, versus someone with ten talents, and he buries or abuses it, who is the more 'talented' one?

And when you prove your faithfulness with the little things, then that's when God will give you more to handle..

God made you just the way you are, to fulfil a specific purpose for Him.

Some people ask me "when's your turn to act frontstage?" This week, tong yan asked and was really shocked to know that I had actually failed the drama ministry auditions last time. Yup, I 'didn't make the cut' for acting in the DM. Not that I can't act, I have acted before outside. But I readily admit, I'm not the Best actor around. I just enjoy it and had the chance to do it.

Truthfully, I was really devastated, and I was prepared to go to another ministry..

But God has His plans, and I DID go to DM in the end -- serving in another aspect that hadn't crossed my mind before. :) So I STILL was able to use my theatre experience to good use. I just never thought about this option before.

Wherever you're placed, even if you're not 'the top', God's got a Bigger plan for whatever experience He's letting you learn..

Similarly, do you think I ever thought that one day my experience in writing for mags would allow me to have a chance to write for something like Citinews??

God is ALWAYS full of surprises..:)

--

Speaking of which..I'm reminded of all the school work and work work that I need to do! Ahh!!

Sometimes I feel a bit no confidence in taking on assignments, especially those that are mandarin-based. BUT I believe! Willingness to work hard and trusting God with all = fruits!

Creativity is RISK-TAKING! And working hard!

I love You, God.

Happy Halloween

Have not been eating well for past few days..schedule was suddenly really hectic..no time/no appetite..>.<

*looks at long to-do list*

I want a brownie with icecream..T_T

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Went to apply for basic theory test. Alan Chen already has his PDL. Cannot lose to him!! Haha.

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Everything is insanely crazy.

Especially as it nears the end of this year, there's lots more to come.

God, guide me. Cos its Your path that I'm walking on. I'm doing my best though the way seems so narrow sometimes..

Next week: One week of morning prayer meetings! I'll be going to Heart of God Church at Singpost.

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God really uses people in the most unexpected ways..